Friday, April 4, 2014

Fear....ARGGG!

Ben's new favorite thing is brushing hair.  He has
absconded with the girl's doll head.

There are so many things going on right now, that I couldn't sleep this morning.  Sleep is not something I can forgo easily, but so much is going through my mind.

It's such silly stuff, really.  Yet satan is readily working to take away my joy right now.

The entire family is excited about vacation.  It's been so long, the littles don't even know what to expect.

What is this crazy vacation thing you speak of?!!!

Then there's me.  I'm one giant crazy stupid ball full of fear.

FEAR

F.E.A.R. (yes, all in caps)

Yup, how's that for honest? 

It's NOT a normal state for me.  Yet a couple times recently I almost feel a panic as I've thought about it.

This is not like me...AT ALL.

Vacation finances seem to be the center of it....that and the many lies the master of lies likes to whisper in my ear.

Yup....

It's going to be fine, I keep telling myself.  This is what the family really does need, I know absolutely.  I feel like it's a gift from God, but...

I'm a little psycho. (No surprise for many...laughing.)

There's a lot of stuff to do just to get ready.  There are things we, very truthfully, don't usually need this early in the year.  There are things each child needs and a couple things Thomas and I need (though the list is now VERY small).   There is one item I wanted to take care of with the van that I'm going to put off.   I made the decision this morning to be safe (ok, out of fear).  I NEVER act out of fear...ARGGGG! (Yes, pirate Kat is back).

TBH (took me FOREVER to figure out what that means...actually to Google it), this is just a joy zapper.  This is how satan is working on us when we are feeling heavy with emotion (even not on a conscious level).  I didn't see it coming.  My shield wasn't positioned right.  Pfffttt.....

Fear

So to end this scattered post, I'm asking for one prayer request for me personally.  I'm also asking for my husband who is having fear used against him (in a completely different way), as well.  Please pray the fear is removed.  It's ridiculous.  It's NOT from God.  It's such a joy zapper.

If you have a moment.  I would love a little aid in kicking this fear to the curb.


2 comments:

Addie Talley, Photographer said...

Hang in there... This vacation is going to be just what you need... If you need to, fast forward think about how when the kids are grown, you will look back on this trip with good memories... Hugs!

Fatcat said...

I always get that same way before a vacation, fearful I'll forget something? Spend too much money? I don't get it and yet I do it too.

We're both weird. :-P

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